And So It Begins

I begin this journey after realizing that I keep falling for emotionally unavailable alcoholics, most of whom are in love with someone else. But don't worry, that's not really what this blog is about (I hope!), no this blog is about me taking control of my life, and me figuring out that I'm pretty awesome, and someone out there is ganna get a chance to know it! So after a rough night, and a lot of thinking about if I really wanted to put myself out there, I decided it was time I try online dating, and thus, our story begins.

I told myself I would sign up for a dating site, and a blog, and look at it like a social experiment (finally using my degree in sociology for something important!) Last night I started my first step, and actually signed up for a dating site. I had tried a few things like Craigslist, and had checked out match.com, but both always felt weird. The site I signed up for was one I had joined freshamn year of college, back when it was more of a FriendsterBookSpaceJournal, and less of what it's grown into - it's as if Portland hipsters started a dating site that they wanted to be like Facebook, but sexier. A few friends of mine suggested it recently, and some people I know have even met really cool people that have turned into something serious. So I re-joined with a new username and a different mentality than before.

Filling out all the questions and essay "about me" stuff was weird. How much do I write? How much do I open up? Are people going to read all this? Too much and you loose interested, too little and maybe someone's going to look right past it. You want to be intriguing, smart, funny, and as honest about yourself as possible without giving too much away, but without missing anything either. It's like writing a sales pitch for yourself...kinda creepy. They want to know too much it seems, isn't all this stuff what we're supposed to learn about each other over dinner? I don't think it matters if we have the same favorite food, and if our hobbies are different, maybe we can learn something new from each other!

But I digress...

So I fill out their essays, answer their questions, upload pictures, and I'm ready! Within 10 minutes I already had a message from a girl, just a quick flirt. Within an hour another guy sent me a message letting me know him and his girlfriend would be interested in hooking up with me sometime, and by morning I had a long rambling message from a very cute lesbian, whom I didn't get to write back till this evening.

But it isn't easy. You have to click on people, weed through them, and actually interact if you want something to happen. I don't know how I feel about online dating. I've never dated in general, and my sometimes-low-self-esteem doesn't want people to be disappointed when I show up for a date...which is silly because I know I'm awesome, and pretty, and totally fun...but still...people are vein and mean. I should know, I am myself from time to time. But I'm going to put in the effort to see what's out their. For the sake of my social experiment I intend on replying to as many messages as I can/feel are sincere/don't freak me out (I'll get back to you on the 3-some) and will work my way up to being the first to send a message. I will search through the thousands of singles, I will send flirts or winks or woos or whatever it is I'm supposed to do to match up with someone. And hopefully I will go on some dates. And hopefully they will be entertaining enough for me to want to write about them, and for you to want to read them.

Enjoy my misadventures in online dating! It's going to be a fun summer!