12:49am

Just got a text from my rain-checked date, seeing if I was still up at this hour on a Tuesday night? She told me she was bored, and accidentally drunk...trouble! Oh, and she was already hella high...this text conversation just keeps getting more and more interesting.

Game Killer

I have this term. "Game Killer."

It's a funny term really, because I've never EVER thought of myself as having "game." I decided that this has to change if I ever want to get a date, and then keep a date. I always thought that me just being me would be enough. Not that I'm saying I'm not usually me, but sometimes you gatta step it up, you know?

So the first thing I ever called "game killer" was when I was trying to hook up with this girl, and a bunch of us were supposed to get together. My friend decided to pick a place to meet so far away from her, that she decided she didn't want to come out. I mean COME ON! What's a girl to do? Luckily I convinced everyone to head over to her place instead...game?

The next "game killer" that occurred wasn't so bad. I was out on a...date? I wasn't sure, things felt in limbo. Near the end of the night I saw the jukebox, saw that I could pick 7 songs for $2 and thought "This'll be perfect, picking 7 songs together, flipping through the records, getting excited about songs, joking and laughing." We go put our money in, and it won't take our bills or coins. GAME KILLER! there it was, the perfect opportunity to practice a little game, and I got shut down!

But yesterday was the biggest killer of game yet. I was supposed to go on a date last night, I was actually kind of excited. I was so hoping this post was going to be epic first first-date post. Instead I woke up yesterday morning to a text from my roommate telling me that we have fleas. Had this been a normal day for the both of us we would have probably cleaned the kitchen, baked some cookies, looked for apartments, and maybe watched some How I Met Your Mother. Now, we could've still done that yesterday and de-fleaed the house, except that our dryer is broken. So after waging war on the house and the fleas, we locked the newly Frontlined kitty in the basement, bug bombed the house, and went and did over 13 loads of laundry. GAME EATEN ALIVE BY FLEAS!!! Needless to say I had to rain check on the date, which totally sucks because my life keeps getting busier and busier, and I don't know when I'm going to find time to go on first dates. Can't someone I already know just fall in love with me?

That's for another post in another blog at another time. For now I'm feeling a bit discouraged with online dating. It's just my up-and-down emotions the past few days, topped with my frustration at the time it's taking to meet people (it's only been a week, it takes time...blah blah, I'm not a patient person!) and wondering when I could actually fit meeting these people into my life, when I feel so overwhelmed already. I won't give up, I just need to be re-energized. Online dating is exhausting...

But hopefully it's not killing my real life game.

We Have Contact

I messaged a girl who I saw looked at my profile. I used to think if someone looked at my profile, and didn't message me, they weren't interested, but I also know I've looked at people who I was very interested in, but never did anything about it.

So I sent her a message, and she immediately wrote me back saying it was one of the best messages she's ever been written on their, so that put me at ease a little. She seemed like someone I could at least be friends with, and nerd out with, and that's kinda what I'm looking for right now. Friends first is good. We set up a potential date for Monday night. I have no idea what to do, where to go, or what I'm going to wear. I've never had to set up a date before...this should be interesting. I'm thinking Powells and gelato?

And then there's the guy who messaged me.
I came up as one of his matches, the site sent both of us an e-mail about it. I was interested, but like I said, it's really easy to see someone you like, but do nothing about it. Luckily (and sweetly) he messaged me saying he feels awkward on the site, but he couldn't let me slip by without him saying something. This could totally be a line...but I'm okay with that. We're still in the message back and forth stages, he seems shy and I'm trying to draw him out, but I have a feeling we'll be meeting up at some point, but I'm a busy lady, so we'll see if/when that happens.

I'm still not sure how I feel about all this, but I've never been on a date in my life, and now I'm looking at 2 potential people, so you know, it's better than I've been doing! Of course, it all depends on what things are like in the real world. I don't want an online relationship, you know?

I'm going to watch Team America now.

What?

I just got this to my personal e-mail. I don't even know...

Your login name:	myname
Your personality:	really great
How bad our users want you:	so bad
Your profile, as of 8 milliseconds ago:	approved!

What? I don't even know what that means! How do they know?

WHAT? Online dating sites are weird...

Whoa

So I figured that this blog would mostly be about the dates I go on, but I forgot how entertaining some of the shit on this site can be! Though I haven't found anyone worth meeting in person yet, I would like to share a message I got today, and the person's profile summery.

MESSAGE SUBJECT: Those are serious lips
BODY: "I'm not joking. Shit's crazy. You remind me of a girlfriend of mine, who moved back to Virginia Beach. She's an awesome bunny owner, not so much that you look alike, though you both have hella bone structure and a big juicy ass"

Win? It is flattering when someone compliments you...but like that? Classy. Then I went to his profile. There's a lot of questions to fill out on this site, but he only filled out one; The "about me" essay. So what about him?

"Well, I'm a total perv who will probably eye fuck you if you ever meet me. I think most women are sluts, but most of them won't admit it to themselves (much less the people around them), though the world would be so much better if everyone fucked more people more often while enjoying it more. I own a porn company, and I probably want you to fuck on camera."

I don't think I'll be messaging this guy back...

It's interesting how people in life (besides girl friends and family members) don't tell each other that they're hot/pretty/beautiful/sexy, but give someone a keyboard and a little anonymity, and you get the equivalent of a drive-by cat call. People also seem to drop the pretenses faster online...though I have a feeling with this guy we'd know right after meeting him that he's a creep, and he knows it, so he's just putting it out there now. I guess I appreciate that? and I'm sure there is a girl in Portland that wants to fuck him on camera...but for the sake of humanity, I hope not.

And So It Begins

I begin this journey after realizing that I keep falling for emotionally unavailable alcoholics, most of whom are in love with someone else. But don't worry, that's not really what this blog is about (I hope!), no this blog is about me taking control of my life, and me figuring out that I'm pretty awesome, and someone out there is ganna get a chance to know it! So after a rough night, and a lot of thinking about if I really wanted to put myself out there, I decided it was time I try online dating, and thus, our story begins.

I told myself I would sign up for a dating site, and a blog, and look at it like a social experiment (finally using my degree in sociology for something important!) Last night I started my first step, and actually signed up for a dating site. I had tried a few things like Craigslist, and had checked out match.com, but both always felt weird. The site I signed up for was one I had joined freshamn year of college, back when it was more of a FriendsterBookSpaceJournal, and less of what it's grown into - it's as if Portland hipsters started a dating site that they wanted to be like Facebook, but sexier. A few friends of mine suggested it recently, and some people I know have even met really cool people that have turned into something serious. So I re-joined with a new username and a different mentality than before.

Filling out all the questions and essay "about me" stuff was weird. How much do I write? How much do I open up? Are people going to read all this? Too much and you loose interested, too little and maybe someone's going to look right past it. You want to be intriguing, smart, funny, and as honest about yourself as possible without giving too much away, but without missing anything either. It's like writing a sales pitch for yourself...kinda creepy. They want to know too much it seems, isn't all this stuff what we're supposed to learn about each other over dinner? I don't think it matters if we have the same favorite food, and if our hobbies are different, maybe we can learn something new from each other!

But I digress...

So I fill out their essays, answer their questions, upload pictures, and I'm ready! Within 10 minutes I already had a message from a girl, just a quick flirt. Within an hour another guy sent me a message letting me know him and his girlfriend would be interested in hooking up with me sometime, and by morning I had a long rambling message from a very cute lesbian, whom I didn't get to write back till this evening.

But it isn't easy. You have to click on people, weed through them, and actually interact if you want something to happen. I don't know how I feel about online dating. I've never dated in general, and my sometimes-low-self-esteem doesn't want people to be disappointed when I show up for a date...which is silly because I know I'm awesome, and pretty, and totally fun...but still...people are vein and mean. I should know, I am myself from time to time. But I'm going to put in the effort to see what's out their. For the sake of my social experiment I intend on replying to as many messages as I can/feel are sincere/don't freak me out (I'll get back to you on the 3-some) and will work my way up to being the first to send a message. I will search through the thousands of singles, I will send flirts or winks or woos or whatever it is I'm supposed to do to match up with someone. And hopefully I will go on some dates. And hopefully they will be entertaining enough for me to want to write about them, and for you to want to read them.

Enjoy my misadventures in online dating! It's going to be a fun summer!